Many of you are aware of the hell my husband and I have had to face the last several months now having lost two children, one at 22 weeks and one at 7 weeks. Anyone that’s had to go through a pregnancy knows the effects that it has on your body and your hormones.
Pre-preganncy I sat at 148lbs……. I currently sit at 165lbs……and with no baby to show for it. I have sacrificed my training, by diet and my body to create life. A sacrifice I was more than thrilled to make. And one that is difficult to swallow now as I look in the mirror.
I see the after math of the hell my body has gone through the last 9 months. The muscle lost. The fat gained. The training ability almost non-existent. I have such negative emotions wrapped in what I see in the mirror because it’s a daily reminder of what we’ve lost. A daily reminder of what could have been. A daily reminder of what will never be.
I force myself to look at myself everyday, and force myself to say nice things about the body that I have. I force myself to try to accept there I am at as it wont be where I will end up. I am learning to walk in the shoes of my clients a little more each day as I struggle to love my body again after my body failed me.