Climbing The Mountain Sucks

I’m sure we’ve all heard the motivational sayings from an overly peppy speaker bouncing around on stage;
“It’s not the destination, it’s the journey”
“You have to have the rain to appreciate the sun”
“It’s all about the climb”

Today I call shenanigans…..IT SUCKS!  I know that life lessons are important, and they usually involve a period where life is tough, but it’s hard to stay peppy while going through it.  Here I stand today at the bottom of the valley, yet again, getting ready to strap in and start climbing, but first I have to figure out one very important thing….which mountain?

As many of you know I am 2 semesters into my International Business Masters, and I’ve quickly realized that a business degree could be confused with a finance/accounting degree.  There was a reason I was an art major, I loathe numbers.   Over the last 8 weeks I have been fighting a daily battle with my corporate finance book.  I get it….I’m lost….that makes sense….hu?!?!?  These sessions often ended with me feeling completely frustrated, completely lost  and on the verge of tears.  But I put my foot down and I was going to master it.  I studied, I got a tutor and I walked into the mid-term feeling pretty damn good and left that way too. Then I get my test back last night…..65%….ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?  I had given it my all and still was waaaaaaaaaay off the mark.

I confirmed a very important thing last night.  My relationship with numbers hasn’t gotten any better, nor does my desire to improve it exist.  Maybe business isn’t the direction I need to be charging after, at least degree wise. 

So here I stand….at the bottom of a valley, and the only way out is to climb the mountain, but which one?  I guess only time will tell.  I can tell you one thing, it’s not going to include corporate finance, I’ll hire someone for that.

Today’s WOD:   REST DAY = Skill work

4 thoughts on “Climbing The Mountain Sucks

  1. Kate,

    I hear you loud and clear and just know you’re not alone! The day after I got my music degree I decided to go into health/fitness. I also have been considering a masters….but in what?! There are lots of things I could get it in and have interest in but what to do? Sorry that You’re almost done with the semester and have decided that it may not be for you…but it’s a learning experience..what can you take from it? …you ever notice that grass grows in the valley but not really on the mountain?? That’s where the most growth happens….and heck yeah it sucks but that valley is where you will learn a whole lot about yourself. So, embrace the suck, learn a great but hard lesson, and be better because of it! At least you know now and not 2 years into your international business career!!! 😉 Good luck chica!!

  2. Thanks girl….I really appreicate it, and of course, it’s always easier to make it through with such an awesome support system.

  3. Hi Kate,

    You don’t know me other than through Facebook where you may see an occasional post, but I wanted to offer a few words of encouragement b/c as I read your post, I felt like it was taken straight from my thoughts from a few months ago. . . kinda scary actually!

    A little background – I just (finally!) finished up my BBA degree in November 2009. I know that Undergraduate courses pale in comparison to Grad courses, but I can sympathize b/c silly me decided to take a few Graduate level courses as my electives b/c they looked “interesting”. . .. WHAT was I thinking?!?!

    Anyway – I’m an accounting major – I DO think in numbers – literally – but the Undergraduate Corporate Finance Course seriously kicked my butt. Finance is a whole different world that I just couldn’t seem to wrap my brain around. I am a type A go-getter (aren’t all of us CrossFitters?). When I put my mind to something, I just do it. If it’s hard, oh well – it just means that it will feel that much better when I finish it. This class, however, really put me in my place. I have never cried so many tears over a class before. It wasn’t the fact that it was difficult. It was the fact that it felt literally IMPOSSIBLE. I am NOT used to feeling stupid – and this class brought me to my knees and made me feel like I was the dullest nail in the drawer. I tried everything I could think of to make the information “click” for me, but still couldn’t wrap my brain around it. I think that my crying fits resulted from a few things: a fear of failure (I mean I’m a type A that finds her way through everything – failure is not an option!), and the feeling of stupidity (the feeling that I was so stupid that I couldn’t force my brain to learn this information really, really hurt me at an emotional level).

    I found myself procrastinating, and putting all of my other schoolwork ahead of my finance work b/c every time I cracked that book, I was back to feeling like an idiot. How do you learn something that your brain just simply refuses to comprehend?

    CrossFit honestly did help me to get through – every PR that I got helped to counteract slightly that feeling of failure that I got every time I opened my Finance book. I know that they are two completely different things, but on an emotional level, I was happy that I was suceeding at something – it helped make the feelings of failure a little less potent.

    Anyway, long story short, I did end up passing the class, and even though it dragged down my GPA in a big way, it was an amazing feeling to have finished it. I probably couldn’t sit here today 8 months later and repeat back a single thing that I learned in that class – literally I hung on by the skin of my teeth and willed my brain to retain the information just long enough to pass the tests . . . . and one good thing came out of it – I now know that when I go back for my MBA next year, I do NOT want a concentration in finance! 🙂

    I don’t know why I typed this whole book of a comment, but I guess I’m hoping that it will help you knowing that others of us have shared those feelings and tears regarding Corporate Finance. . . and they really do suck! Whatever you decide to do regarding switching your concentration or dropping the course, I’m sure it will be the right decision for you – I will say that I was much more proud of the “barely C” that I pulled out of my butt in Corporate Finance (and I still don’t know how!) than any of the “A”s that I got in my other classes.

    Good Luck girl – I’ll be praying for ya!

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