It only took an hour but….

I pulled a 125lb snatch!  So why did it take an hour?  Because I was at war with myself and the bar.

I started today’s workout session with 10 45lbs snatches.  No problem.  I had a feeling we were going to push the envelope today and go for a PR, but I had no idea what an up hill battle it was going to become.  So here’s the break down….
3 at 95lbs
2 at 105lbs
2 at 115lbs (my previous 1 rep max)
FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL at 125lbs

I actually think there were a few more fails in there, but you get the idea. I was pulling it hard, getting it up, but my scared little ass wasn’t dropping down. I think I literally fell on my rear 10-15 times while failing attempts. But guess what….I kept getting up!

The thought of quitting crossed my mind. Maybe I’m just not strong enough, maybe I’m not good enough. I was on the verge of tears when my coach talked me through the fear. He reminded me that I decided what I was or wasn’t going to control. Was I really going to let the weight control me? By fighting through the fear I would be one step closer to being a champion. I chocked down my tears chalked up and approached the bar.

FAIL…FAIL…FAIL….FAIL….FAIL…..FAIL….. I was so far gone into my own head that I couldn’t do it, that I didn’t do it. So we backed it back down to 115lbs and I got it (making that three times I hit my old PR today). I walked away, Ty added more weight and I approached. I pulled all 120lbs and hit it first time! I knew I had to get it now, so Ty again added more weight making it 125lbs and I pulled….FAIL!

I was no longer feeling sorry for myself. I was no longer feeling that I couldn’t do it. I was calm and I knew I had what it took, I just needed to focus and get it done. FAIL…FAIL…FAIL…FAIL…..FAIL….FAIL…that’s when Ty told me I had two more tries and he was going to cut me off. I pulled…I failed as I falled to the floor again. I got back up approached the bar… FAIL! I quickly re approached the bar. I knew Ty said only two more tries but I had gotten so close I knew I was too close to quit.

I hook, grip, breath, pull and guess what…..I F*CKING GOT IT! I HAD DONE IT! I HAD pulled a 125lb snatch and successfully stood it up. I immediately began jumping around. It had taken a full entire hour of failing. Yes a full 60 minutes of failing to hit my PR. It was the most amazing feeling. I faced my fear head on and took it down.

I couldn’t have done it without the amazing Ty who coached me through the mental war. He said it best when he said ‘If you walk away now and give into the fear you’ll never be a champion’

4 thoughts on “It only took an hour but….

  1. Congrats!! Every time I see your posts about Ty and the Gorilla Pit I wish that I was back in Ohio… ugh.

  2. That is awesome! I look to you and read your blogs as a mentor in a way. Sometimes I get that in my head to, thoughts like I can never be as good as her or as strong or as fast. If you….someone i look up to has those same thoughts sometimes and still conquers through makes me feel good, like i’m not alone with these thoughts. I bet for that hr you felt like shit but afterwards when you hit your pr the whole day was a great day for you.

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