As many of you know I competed in at the Beast of the East last weekend and it was quite an experience. It was my first competition since breaking my L5 vertebra. I knew that I was NOT where I needed to be, but felt like I need to start competing again. There were a few main goals;
1. Test my back and see if it’ll hold up
2. Find some strengths & weaknesses
3. Test my ‘mental game’
And boy of boy did I test my mental game. The fourth workout was a max turkish getup in 10min. I wasn’t all that confident going into this wod, but was shooting for 80lbs. (i had gotten up 65 easily earlier in the week)
The game plan was to open with 55lbs to get the movements, then hit 65lbs and then 80lbs. 3…2…1…GO! I put 55lbs on the bar and then it hit me….it was heavy! How could this be? I shake it off as a fluke and moved onto 65lbs. Fail…fail….on the third effort I got it up.
Knowing how hard it was to get up I decided to go with 75lbs…fail…fail….fail….. and then I heard it ‘TIME?” I couldn’t believe it. I only got 65lbs?!?!?!?
I immediately left the floor, grabbed my phone and went to get air. I felt so embarrassed and couldn’t believe I failed so hard. I couldn’t believe how overwhelmed I felt and the next thing I knew I found myself in tears. All my fears going into the competition had come true. I feared a big failure and in my mind, I had failed.
Thanks to my life coaching and business coaching I’ve been working on embracing emotions and dealing with it. I took it for what it was knowing I had a workout in an hour and a half. I had to embrace what happened and move on. I can’t control the past. I knew I had one more workout to prove to myself that I should be competing. one more wod to get back into the top 10 and move to the final wod. More on that tomorrow