I’m Heartbroken

‘I’m Heartbroken’

That’s not only what I thought when the doctor told me when he confirmed my torn achilles, but that’s the response I’ve gotten from several friends.

A year ago my L5 vertebra broke from years of a misaligned spine under weight and now this.  It’s like life is trying to teach me a lesson.  I’m not sure what that lesson is quite yet, but I’m trying to keep my eyes and ears open until I see or hear it.

I’ve been working with my life coach the last few weeks on the emotions revolved around getting hurt.  Last week we came to the realization that I was bottling my emotions and ending every statement with something like….
‘It could be worse’
‘At least I still have my health’
‘It’s not a death notice’ or something along those lines

My goal this past week has been to realize that what I’m going through sucks and isn’t fair, and it’s ok to leave it at that. A funny thing happened putting this to practice. I realized that the real emotion that I was fighting was guilt. Guilt for getting hurt, guilt to my members that deserve my healthy to coach, guilt to my sponsors that deserve me healthy to compete guilt to my business that’s been at a stand still for the last two weeks while I recover from surgery.

The beautiful thing in acknowledging my sense of guilt, is being able to free myself from that guilt. Injuries happen, it’s a part of life. It’s happened, it sucks and I’m already doing everything I need to to get back up and running as quickly as I can (without pushing it of course).

So while I’m heartbroken, I’m also getting stronger by the day mentally, emotionally and physically as I tackle yet another large hurdle.

17 thoughts on “I’m Heartbroken

  1. I think the lesson here is if you keep going like you were before your torn Achilles you will just end up hurt yet AGAIN. You definitely should feel guilty, mommy and daddy dumped money into your dream and all you’ve done is get hurt. What’s more important coaching or trying to compete?!?!! You’re not getting any younger either maybe your body is saying “hey, I’ve had enough.”.

  2. WOW…..That’s a pretty ugly comment. It’s just sad that you attack people when they’re down. What do you gain from that?

  3. Injuries happen, imbalance is a part of life, and not just muscular imbalance. The more realizations we make and take the responsibility that belongs to us, but not the guilt helps us to grow and shape ourselves and those around us. You are on an incredible journey called life. Perhaps you need to find Muscle Activation Techniques – they have magic in those fingers of theirs and in their words. That achilles tendon problem is no match for one of those specialists … good luck. Just whispering in your ear, and maybe you might even take the course and change more than just your life. Good luck. Wendy

  4. Kate, you’re giving this dude too much credit by responding to him. The dude obviously can’t put a rational thought together.
    1) Kate is an athlete. Athletes compete. Why should she stop for fear of injury? That’s like saying Tom Brady should stop playing football because he might get hurt. Makes absolutely no sense.
    2) The money that “mommy and daddy” invested in her business has nothing to do with her injury. The gym is thriving… how could anyone consider that a waste? Again, total nonsense.

    Man, the people they let in to colleges these days… get a clue, bro.

  5. HUGE bummer. Very sorry to hear about this Kate.

    Prayers will be with you for a quick recovery.

    This summer, I got into the best shape of my life. Worked out at an affiliate here that used a combo of crossfit and other techniques. Was strong, shredded…and found out that I had a herniated disk in L5, and jacked my shoulder bad.

    This made me rethink exercise. I thought “what the FUCK am I missing here? I’m in great shape, can compete…but why is my body breaking on me?”

    Read a book called “The 4 hour body” by Tim Ferris. In it, he references the training of Olympic Gold Medalist Allyson Felix (sprinter who broke Marion Jones’s high school records), and a number of other case studies that, in my mind, flew in the face of everything I had learned about training, and stimulating performance gains.

    It’s a controversial book. May be worth a read 🙂 I just got it a week ago, and am just now implementing it, so I don’t have any miraculous story to go with it. It does seem to make sense, and answers many of the questions I had been asking.



  6. Kate,
    I am sorry about your injury but do feel you need to suck it up. If you want to see some struggle and gain some perspective on just how good you have it go volunteer at a Childrens Hospital. Go visit kids with no hair and IV’s and constantly puking or in pain because they have cancer.

    Not knowing whether you will live until your 10 is not fair! You blowing out your achilles on a box jump doesn’t even register on the life is not fair scale!

  7. I am a follower of yours. Though I live miles away in another state I check your crossfit and blog sites on an almost daily basis. You are a leader and an inspiration.

    Physical fitness has been a passion of mine since college. I have been following crossfit for about a year now and add some of the WODs to my routine for variety. I have never taken a class (mainly due to cost) but believe in the fundamentals of crossfit. While I do not agree with the strong tongue lashings you get from some of the people who comment to your posts, I do think recovery after intense workouts is essential. Crossfit workouts force you to push yourself to the max day in and day out. This is great in the short run but the body can only take so much of a beating. That is why I only use them 2-3 times a week (if that) worked in to my normal rountine. I would just encourage you to consider more recovery period especially during times of healing from an injury. I too suffer from back problems and know the pain!

    Continue to do lead others and inspire them to maintain healthy lifestyles. Don’t let the negative comments get to you. Not to sound like a stalker but I will keep reading and checking in as long as you keep posting. Keep up the good work!!!!

    KP in Oklahoma

  8. To know that yet another self-proclaimed do-gooder who is too big for her own britches got knocked down a peg. That’s what I get from it. I’m not jealous. I’m an asshole I know that, but you risking it again and again…you’re business will suffer. You can’t pay the rent if you can’t coach and you can’t coach if you’re always laid up. Maybe you’re next injury it will dawn on you. Until then best of luck “healing for time.”

  9. I apologize for my previous post Kate. I read back on your previous blog that everyone commented on and most of what I said was already said. Just keep coaching others to be fit and take care of yourself!

    KP in Oklahoma

  10. “cozy sweats, warm blanket, DVDs, cuddly puppy…Only thing missing is a cute boy to share it with”. There’s a reason you have a dog next to you and not a guy.

  11. Cody- There is also a reason why so many people know who Kate Rawlings is and feel the need to talk about her, and its because of her many accomplishments, and for how inspiring many of the things she does are for so many people… There is also a reason why no one knows who you are at all, and its because you have no talent and have accomplished nothing and appear to be a bitter waste of life … so how about before you put someone down you actually try to accomplish something yourself instead of just being as you so eloquently put it “an asshole”

  12. Most of the time people such as Cody are trying to get a reaction. That’s what entertains them. Every so often , believe it or not, these type of people are in a back ass way trying to help. Either way Cody has a lot to learn and I wouldn’t put much thought or concern into their criticism. I do know that you will bounce back and in the meantime will continue to grow your business and become a better coach everyday. I know that I will do everything I can to help every time your “laid up”

  13. “our past feeling of guilt will be replaced by responsibility, our past pain will be replaced by a wish to improve, and our past regrets will be replaced by a plan to do better. Let’s scrape off the rust and let our natural goodness shine through!”

  14. Haha – I think Cody has an agenda! Could be:

    1. The weird-stalker that has a crush on Kate
    2. The weird-stalker that is jealous of Kate’s accomplishment
    3. The weird-stalker that is spending his Christmas hatin’ on people’s blogs

    I’m looking into Cody’s future…I see a lonely Christmas, in front of the computer, looking at pictures that he shouldn’t look at. Or…is Cody a woman? Even more weird.

  15. I’m so amazed with some of the comments on this blog. Sure, having a blog leaves oneself open to comments, but this is utterly ridiculous. Cody and Charles, maybe you think you know Kate from reading her blogs and posts on facebook, but you don’t see how she inspires people every single day, and the impact she has on those who otherwise have no one to help them achieve their goals. I’m so disgusted right now as are the other family members of coca who also couldn’t help themselves from commenting here in defense of Kate. Charles – you’re going to tell her to suck it up and throw sick children in her face?! Unreal – she is sucking it up better than anyone else ever could, and she does a ton for the community that she would never brag about. Get a life and grow up.

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