What I learned dating a woman…..

I’m not sure I’ll ever truly be able to capture all the things I learned about myself, my family and the world around me….good, bad, indifferent in the year I dated and lived with a woman.


Let’s get the eye opening (aka the bad) out of the way:
*I learned that those closest to me were the FIRST to turn on me because they were ‘god loving and righteous’…and I was immediately cut out (after 2 years of ‘being family’)
*I learned that those that worked for me¬†were the FIRST to tell me to be careful how I presented myself because working for me was an ‘iffy’ thing now because it was a reflection on them (talk about being self focused)
*I learned coaches were calling telling people to GET OUT because Coca had now become an morally corrupt place (keep in mind this was over night)
*I learned that¬†families can tolerate others life choices as long as they don’t come home
*I learned that fear shapes a lot of lives

*I learned that I could run a business that accepted people EXACTLY as they are (ZERO EXPECTATIONS)
*I learned that the community of Coca CrossFit flourished under my strength to be ME….if I was confident enough to stand for what I wanted they too could stand for something they may have hesitated to in the past
*I learned that my family can hit ROCK BOTTOM and survive (to the point there were silent relationships, that were screaming at each other relationships, that blossomed into truly UNCONDITIONALLY LOVING relationships)
*I learned that I will do ME regardless of how difficult or how many people don’t understand
*I learned that more than a dozen other CrossFit affiliate owners who had kept their same-sex relationships out of the gym integrated into the gym and were embraced and strengthened their community as a result
*I learned that those that truly love you will always love you even when they don’t understand or accept you
*I learned that I can forgive even when I felt like I was the one that was wronged
*I learned that I am stronger than I ever knew
*I learned that I will share my struggles and story and all its ups and downs without fear of judgement…..

Because if I can not only survive being called a disgrace as a human being by a friend and come close to losing my mothers love to only have the strongest friendships I’ve ever had and a relationship with my mother that is 100% unconditional….nothing can hold me down. I will stumble….I will fall…. but i will never stop licking my wounds and moving forward.

3 thoughts on “What I learned dating a woman…..

  1. Those are hard lessons and regardless of the catalyst, it sucks to have to find out how shallow and hypocritical many people are. You’re an inspiration and I am enjoying the opportunity to catch up on your blog. Thank you for sharing yourself and putting it on the line.

  2. I couldn’t sleep and was checking out Instagram and came upon this…what can I say other than amazing! Even at 130 am I was inspired. I’ve struggled to have the confidence to achieve my dream of joining a Crossfit community and when I think I found one….I read up on their religious beliefs and God will judge those who haven\’t lived morally \”in a substantial man/woman\” relationship. Considering I don\’t fall into that category due to finding women attractive I still have not found \”my place in Crossfit\” I only hope I find a place of community, integrity and strength…like Coca. You are truly an amazing coach, woman and inspiration. Thank you;-)

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