Over the last two months I have learned more about fatigue and nausea that I ever knew possible. Feeling like a walking zombie, barely keeping food down and the idea of having any brain function is laughable.
Now as I enter my second trimester I am finding that there are more good hours than bad hours on days, but I’m far from saying I feel good. What I have realized now that I am having more good hours is just how badly I let everything go….. my home…my gym…my body….my nutrition……all way below my normal functioning level.
Of course having a clear moment to realize how far things have unraveled only drives me to unravel farther because I am my owner worst critic and bully. A few hours of ‘what the hell did I let happen’ ….. a few tears….. and learning on my fiancé and the reality is this is where I am at, now lets pull it back together.
It’s ok to no be ok….. and today i was not ok, but that does not mean i’ll find a dark room and disappear, it means I did what i needed to do emotionally to get it out of my system, I’m pulling my big girl pants back up, and taking a step forward, no matter how small.