When you think about bringing home your baby for the first time you think of all the joy, fear and excitement that come along with a tiny infant strapped into car seat that seams to engulf them.
In our case it was a VERY different experience. We had to walk into a funeral home……. in a room on the side there was a tiny velvet bag wrapped around a container with our daughters ashes in it. Candles burning and small wooden cross. The director left my fiancé and our living daughter for a few moments with Hope.
It had been along time since I had cried that many heart felt tears, and for a good 5min there was no way to stop them. The reality of our daughter being gone from this earth and the final step in the process had set in.
Two signatures later and we walked out carrying our daughter in a box. As sad as it was, and as opposite from what we wanted it was, it was an important step for us. Our family was finally whole, not in the way we had envisioned, but for the first time our family was complete and everyone was home.
My fiancé and I are not church goers by any means, but in extreme times we need to find things to give us peace, and in this case the tiny wooden cross was a great keep sake of the care and love our daughter had received while in her final moments before cremation. As a symbol of her, and the love and care we gave her, it seemed only appropriate to have her in our kitchen so that throughout the day everyday we can keep her alive and talk to her.
So while bringing baby Hope was a much different vision for us, at least she’s home with her parents and our family is together.