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Self-doubt….a motivator or wod killer?

One of my great debates… doubt a motivator or a wod killer?

Last nights wod:
500m run
21 power cleans (75lb)
21 box jumps (20″)
3 rounds

As I headed out for my first run I felt pretty good about life and the wod. Finished the first run in just under 2min and headed right into the first set of cleans, 10…11…12…the felt good. Headed into the box jumps getting them 7-8 at a time in rhythm. Time for the second run, my midsection is feeling tight, but it loosens up about 100 meters into it. 1…2…3…4…power cleans, “damn these feel a lot heavier than last round!” Break at 7, couple of deep breaths.

This is where the doubt creeps in. I shouldn’t be tired….I need to keep moving…I can’t do them any faster….shut up brain, you’re fine….keep moving…onto the box jumps. Manage to keep a consistent pace throughout the set and I’m off on my last run. All I can think is I’m tired, I want to stop, but then the flip switches. “Don’t be lazy….you don’t want the slowest time….you don’t want to be a loser….getty up!” I push through the run and head into my final 21 power cleans thinking I can’t slow down or I’ll have the slowest time. Break them into 7’s and on to the box jumps. Hit the first 12 unbroken, then the reality that I’m almost done sets in…5 unbroken…so close now…3 unbroken….last 5 all singles. My head was fighting with my body those last 5.
BODY: You’re tired….stop, please just rest….
BRAIN: Suck it up buttercup, you only have 5 more!

Final time 15:06….quickest time in the box.

Why do I push so hard? I want to be the best Kate I can be, and if I slack in the wods I feel guilty. I know I didn’t give it my all, and then I doubt my strength both physically and mentally. I am constantly battling self-doubt, am i strong enough, fast enough, good enough. Self-doubt can push me through a wod like it did last night or it can also crush your wod by throwing you off your mental game.

What do you think? Doubt: motivator or wod killer?


Indian Summer….

This weekend brought with BEAUTIFUL weather. 65-70 degrees and sunny in Cleveland, OH in November…unheard of!

Us Ohio CrossFitters took full advantage. Saturday 6 of us got together for an outdoor wod that seemed so simple on paper.
200m run w/ 25lb sandbag
15 squat cleans (95lb)
15 burpees
Finished in 14:54 and boy did I fell it.

The sandbag runs fried my abs. You have to use so much more core stabilization when running with a bag on your back.

Sunday we did an equally as difficult wod.
Run 1 1/2 miles
50 Thrusters (65lb)
50 sandbag get ups
Finished in 26:38
Some broke the 50’s into 5 rounds of 10, I made the mistake of slamming through the thrusters first. My thought process being…”I hate thrusters, so I’ll just get through them and the getups will be easy” That back fired. My hips were f*ing tired by the time I got to the get ups.

That’s all part of the sport. How you attack a wod. Combining different reps into different configurations changes the wod completely. I’m a big believer that crossfit is 50% strength and 50% mental. The instant you doubt your body and your abilities you’re done.


Mental Mind F*cks

Some days you look at a workout an all you can think is….GROSS! That was Thursday’s wod.
60 cal on the rower
60 jumping pullups
50 stepping lunges
50 jumping pullups
40 kb swings-36lb
40 jumping pullups
30 db push press-20lb dbs
30 jumping pullups

Looks simple on the board, but you realize halfway through that jumping pullups are so simple, yet so nasty. I managed to smash through it 12:44.


I think I can….I think I can….I think I can…..

So day two of training for the games was somewhat like pulling teeth. I spent the day catching up on work that I missed being out with the migraine on Tuesday, oh…and it was still lingering just for fun. By the time 5:30 rolled around I felt like I was running on fumes. All I kept telling myself was, “you can do it, you can’t miss day two of training”.

I got in my car and began my short trip to CFCleveland all the way thinking..”I don’t want to go, I don’t want to do this”, but I trekked on.

As I parked my car, walked into the gym and signed in all I could think was “I’m here, just suck it up”, while in the back of my mind I’m thinking “I’m tired, I’m behind on work, I’m hungry, I need to do my homework.”

I began my warmup and slowly started to feel a little pep back in my step..”I THINK I CAN.”

The wod was 5×5 of back squats. My 1 rep max is 200, so I was shooting for 195×5, but I knew I bit off more than I could chew when I did my first set of 135. I was f*cking heavy! I pushed through 145…155…165…all the time gaining momentum. “I THINK I CAN”

I walked up to 175 confident, feeling good, “I THINK I CAN”! 1st rep felt good “I THINK I CAN”, 2nd rep was a little slower “I THINK I CAN”, 3rd rep holy hell “I THINK I CAN”, 4th..”I THINK I CAN, I THINK I CAN, I THINK I CAN” but i couldn’t I get stuck at the bottom and bailed.

Through out the day I didn’t want to train, I had a mental block, but I pushed through it. I kept the “I THINK I CAN” mentality and had a pretty successful workout. Not where I would have liked, but you have to have the slow days to appreciate the PR’s.


Regaining Traction…..or at least trying to

Ever have those times in your life when you’re ready to hit the ground running and ground has something else in mind?

I can say that pretty much describes my week. After a disappointing finish at the Midwest Regionals in May of 2009 I decided to focus on pretty much everything but CrossFit. I still made it to the wods pretty regularly, but not with much intensity. My diet…if that’s what you would call it…went out the window. I took the eat what I want when i want approach towards food. Fall came and with it brought rumblings of “are you going to compete again this year?” “When are you going to start training?” started floating around the gym.

I had some soul searching to do. I’m still working my 9-5er, trying to help train at the gym when possible and on top of it I started grad school. Where was games training going to fit. I himmed and haaaed and finally said F*CK IT! I’m just going to make my training a non-negotiable part of my day and make it fit. With that came a re-commitment to my diet.

November 2 was the day. I started the day with my paleo friendly zone breakfast, packed my lunch and snack and I was off for day one of games training. I hit the wod hard finishing:
15mt climbers
15 dbcleans (20lbs)
30mt climbers
15 dbcleans
45mt climbers
60mt climbers
15 dbcleans
75mt climbers
15 db cleans
in 10:24 only to be side swiped with a migraine on Tuesday. Really…day two of training….really!!??? For those of you that have never had a migraine, that meant taking drugs and sleeping in a dark quiet room for 12 hours to recover…aka…no training.

One of my favorite quotes comes to mind, “It’s not how many times you fall down, its how many times you get back up that matters.” So today I’m getting back up, dusting off my knees and taking on some heavy back squats.