Holy Humbled


By what you ask?   Deficit hand stand push ups, and it was NOT pretty.  Not the hand stand pushups or my near melt down response to them.

Just yesterday I crushed a heavy bench press AND weighted strict handstand pushups, and today, hspu in the sod (which should have been my jam) all of a sudden were next to impossible.

I warmed up and they felt awesome and I was ready to go!  3…2….1…. GO! 5 snatches, into 5 6″ deficit HSPU- no problem….round 2…. a little harder….. round 3…. complete implosion.  Fail….. fail…. fail….WTF!l-152045

In that moment a million things ran through my head;

  • I’m such a terrible CrossFitter
  • Why do I even bother I’m crappy
  • I’m packing it in, this is is a waste
  • and on….. and on….. and on……

It felt like an hour but it was literally 10seconds if that and then I began thinking;

  • What would you tell a member right now
  • Why do I care so much about RX’ing
  • I may not be able to crush it today, but every rep I’m improving
  • Focus on improving my intensity vs my volume

And suddenly the whole workout turned around.  Yes I was frustrated and humbled, but I was refocused.

Training isn’t about being successful everyday…. it’s about showing up day after day, riding the highs and lows and coming out on top over the long haul.


Don’t pat me on the head….

I had an amazing dinner with friends this evening, both male and female and we got to talking about why it would be awesome to start a support system of strong powerful women…… my answer … because life typically takes you one of two ways….

1- awe that’s cute… now the men are going to talk

grinch_pat_head2-…. wow she’s a bitcth

and if you don’t know what i’m talking about the likely hood is you’re lying to yourself and me, or you hate to admit it’s a mans world.

I am one that has tried to prove myself and feel pulled back because it’s sooooooo easy for me to make me feel like I don’t know what I’m talking about, or ‘let me help you’  It wasn’t until I really started to find my own that i realized this.  those men that were trying to help me were really only ok helping as long as they got their way.. The instant I came in and had to use the ‘my name is on the door’ I was an soulless bitch – wow was that eye opening

not to say that ll men feel this way, I can only speak from the life I’ve lived and the men I’ve dealt with.  Tonight I had a great conversation with a man in leadership that couldn’t comprehend what was I was saying…. to say I wanted to clone him would be an understatement.

The world needs MORE men that want powerful women to work and stand beside them vs men that say they want powerful women and then pat them on the heads.


BE the coach you wish you had…..

As I was chipping away at my #conjugatenation training today I had some time to think about ‘why am I pushing so hard?’ and the answer was clear…… I want to ‘BE the coach I wish I had’

What does that mean?l-150149

That means when I think about a coach I want I think of these things;

  • Do they actively work on improving themselves inside and outside the gym?
  • Do they set goals (short and long) and work towards it?
  • Do they continue to educate themselves?
  • Do they face adversity with a sliver lining?
  • Do they work when it’s easier to walk away?
  • Are they getting better day after day?

Why is this important to me?  Because who am I to guide anyone when I’m not willing to do it myself?  I’m constantly looking at ways to keep myself motivated as much as the next person.  When i stop to think about what my role as a coach is, I’m the example others look to for guidance.

I have struggled and I share that.  Hell i still struggle and that’s all part of it.  I’ve been injured and returned and got knocked back down.  But I can honestly say that I am fitter/faster/stronger overall than I was when I started CrossFit and I continue to work everyday to improve mentally, emotionally and physically.  The year I can say I’m getting weaker, fatter, lazier I will retire as a coach.  Until then I will continue to strive to ‘BE the coach I wish I had’


Don’t make your sh*t my sh*t….

Seriously….. don’t!!!

There’s one thing I can’t handle in my life and that’s other peoples ‘shit’ and by ‘shit’ i mean shit talking.  Now I’m not saying it’s bad to vent about a situation or a person or what ever, but as long as you understand you have a role to play in it and you look for the lessons learned I’m game.55397266

What I can’t handle is when venting turns into team building…. as in I don’t like this person you shouldn’t either.  They hurt me you should hate them for that. They screwed me so they’re going to screw you too.

Guess what….. that’s your shit….. don’t make it mine.  I will listen and support and love on you but I will not carry your shit.  Everyone’s relationships with other people is just that….THEIR relationships.  What one person does to you doesn’t mean they will do to others and vice versa.  What someone does to me does not mean they’ll do it to you.

So I ask….no rather beg…. ‘don’t make your shit my shit’  ….. I have enough of my own.


I know why I am Single

One thing that I try to do on a weekly basis is reflect inward.  It’s very easy to point your finger outward and blame others for why things are the way they are, but at the end of the day the reason my life is the way it is falls 100% on me.

I often think I have a ton to offer when it comes to dating, successfully running two businesses, own my own home, fairly attractive (at least in my own mind lol), free spirited, etc etc etcsingle

and yet at the end of the day I come home to the girls ( my dogs) and that’s it.  Of course it would be great to have someone to help carry the load and the burden of life with me, but why hasn’t it happened?  1 of two reasons…..

1- I pick ‘projects’ people that are drawn to me because of my confidence and success, lack it themselves, and try to gain it by dating me.  And when it comes to walking side by side with me it doesnt work because I have to constantly build them up leaving me with little to nothing left at the end of the day because I’ve been working on ‘the project’

2- my main reason….. I don’t let others close…. why? When you work in a consumer business, like a gym, people coming and going is norm.  I love people and enjoy them while they’re in my life knowing they could be gone at any moment.  As a result of doing this for 5 years I find it difficult to let people I’m dating truly close because they’re going to be gone at some point.

It’s hard to admit that, because it sounds really sad and lonely, but it’s true.  I am strong on my own and don’t ‘need’ to be in a  relationship to be happy, but man would it be nice to have someone in my life that ‘got it’ (what it means to own a business and work your ass off) and can take you away from all the stresses of the world.  I’ll know he’s worth it when he’s willing to break down the castle Ive built around myself.  And until then I’ll do me and work on being the change I want to see in the world.


Join me on my journey to 145


What is my journey to 145?  

My journey to weigh and press 145lbs AT THE SAME TIME!  Why?  Because I do the best when I have a goal I am looking to achieve.  Typically I’ll have a body weight goal or a lifting goal, but this time I decided I would combine two goals into one…. and to add a whole additional layer of achievement….  I also want to get back up to 145 members.

The best of all three worlds; my health, my strength and my business.

One of the hardest things to do when you own your own business is stay motivated, stay hungry and stay content.  Content doesn’t even exist in my world.  I’m always striving to improve, which is why I am as successful as I am.

Any who….. today is day one on my journey to 145

145 body weight

145 strict press

145 members

BOOM!!!!!!  What are you going to be striving for?  Share with me and lets make it happen


Through the eyes of a child……

To say yesterday truly moved me would be an understatement.  Hours later and thousands of burpees completed and $1000.00 dollars later our bi-annual burpee mile was completed.

Let me back up to the beginning…… a least twice a year Coca CrossFit looks to host a fundraiser for a local cause.  This year brought a family touched by autism into my world and with that led us to Evan.  A 6 year old from Lorain diagnosed with Autism that has been approved for a service dog.  A service dog that also has a hefty sticker price.20150704_092201 20150704_091839_resized

That’s when it hit me….. burpee mile for Evan….. burpees for Evan!  So we began promoting the idea and putting the ducks in a row to make it a reality.  July 4th ….9am…  it all became  reality. 35 people had gathered to tackle a Burpee Mile and they did it all in honor of Evan.

Let me tell you about Evan…… the happiest 6 year old I’ve ever met.  With every introduction comes a hug.  Such a simple human jester that breaks dow peoples guarded personal space.  From there comes a joyful smile…. one that is truly full of joy.  followed quickly by running or singing or dancing.

Through his eyes there was no autism.  There was no financial burden.  There was no ‘what do others think’  Just joy, happiness, laughter and friends.  20150704_103344

Through the eyes of a child….. this child….. I was holy reminded of what truly matters in this world.  It’s easy to get caught in the stress of a to-do list.  Financials.  Managing drama.  Calendars…. and on an on on that we lose this simplicity of what’s truly important.  I will work everyday to see the world though the eyes of a child……For in those last 20 buprees that were made a fun game of ‘how far can you jump’ laughing and jumping nothing else mattered.  Just being in that moment.

What to learn more about Evan and make a donation: Visit Evan’s Dreamfund page here


Public Speaking….don’t mind if I do…

After giving two presentations in the last few months and being asked to do some more I am officially launching a public speaking platform.  Being 33…. 5 years into owning Coca CrossFit….. 1 year into owning I Am Stronger…. I have learned A TON about life, people, and swimming with the sharks.

Layer on what I’ve learned being  CrossFit Games athlete that has faced not one…. not two…. but 3 major injuries that certainly put a damper on my competition career but led me to a thriving business career and the wealth of what I have to share with the world is over flowing.

I will speak at schools….. corporations….. networking groups….. your CrossFit affiliate….. you name it i’ll tell my story.

Mariane williams said it the best…… ‘We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?’

speaking flyer


What being a CrossFitter says to the world about you…..

Over the last 8 years the landscape of CrossFit has changed tremendously.  When I started there were no boxes in Cleveland…. there was a weekly workout under a bridge in a park.  Seriously.  We thought we got a HUGE upgrade when we started doing workouts in the coaches driveway with him.crossfit

Fast forward 8 years and CrossFit is practically a house hold word. (def an over exaggeration, but not by much).  When someone asks ‘what do you do’ in regards to working out and you respond with ‘I CrossFit’ it immediately says something to the world about you.

  • It  says you’re  up for a challenge
  • Its says you’re committed to improving yourself
  • It says you’re a believer in communities
  • It says you’re not afraid to roll up your sleeves and do wokr
  • Its says you’re a little twisted
  • But above all else…. those that are fearful to try CrossFit are often impressed an inspired…..

Now image you go to one of the many ‘faux’ CrossFit gyms…… gyms that have Crossfit coaches but don’t call themselves CrossFit….. when someone asks what you do… and you have to answer ‘I do CrossFit LIKE’ workouts that says something to you as well.  Seriously….. try it your self….. now….even in your head:

Question: What do yo do for a workout?

Answer : I CROSSFIT!  (nut said)

Answer:  I do CrossFit like wrokouts…. they’re basically CrossFit we just don’t call it that….

if you tell you you don’t feel a difference….. you’re lying….. So if you’re at a CrossFit like gym…. I say find a CrossFit gym near you…. pay the money…. it’s well worth it (if its a credible coach)  Always look at their resume before pulling the trigger. After all your trusting this person with your safety.

Now lets all say proudly……I CROSSFIT!


Living the ‘shed life’

After almost 5 years of running Coca CrossFit, and within the last year starting I Am Stronger, the amount of time I spend working has increased, which one might not have thought possible.

I have tried it all….. working at the gym…. working at coffee shops…. working at home…. and I’ve never really found a rhythm until now.  The house I bought in the fall is a basic split level, 3 bedroom, but the back yard is compound to say the least.  It’s almost 3/4 of an acre fenced in with a hot tub, fire pit, basketball court and an out building aka a shed with power.

Until 2 months ago it was a storage unit where I just threw stuff in I didn’t want in my house and I walked away.  Then I saw an ad on Facebook….. ‘she-shed’….. a what?  That’s right…. a she-shed.  It’s much along the lines of a Man Cave, but for a woman.  A private space designed just for her.  And I got to thinking….. I have a great shed that could be used for a ‘she-shed’ AND a home office.

I began cleaning out all the junk and what was once a useless structure has now become my home office and personal oasis.  1,400 square ft of home and my favorite place is my 200 square foot home office. It’s peaceful, quite, away from the gym and my house so I can focus on being creative and working and enjoying my dogs.

It’s allowed me to create separation in my life.  When I’m at the gym I train and coach.  When I’m at home I do laundry and dishes.  When I’m at the office I’m working.  And yes… there’s even a second desk if anyone needed a tranquil place to work and this past weekend I added a pool so I can even take a relaxing float as a ‘smoke break’

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