One thing that I try to do on a weekly basis is reflect inward. It’s very easy to point your finger outward and blame others for why things are the way they are, but at the end of the day the reason my life is the way it is falls 100% on me.
and yet at the end of the day I come home to the girls ( my dogs) and that’s it. Of course it would be great to have someone to help carry the load and the burden of life with me, but why hasn’t it happened? 1 of two reasons…..
1- I pick ‘projects’ people that are drawn to me because of my confidence and success, lack it themselves, and try to gain it by dating me. And when it comes to walking side by side with me it doesnt work because I have to constantly build them up leaving me with little to nothing left at the end of the day because I’ve been working on ‘the project’
2- my main reason….. I don’t let others close…. why? When you work in a consumer business, like a gym, people coming and going is norm. I love people and enjoy them while they’re in my life knowing they could be gone at any moment. As a result of doing this for 5 years I find it difficult to let people I’m dating truly close because they’re going to be gone at some point.
It’s hard to admit that, because it sounds really sad and lonely, but it’s true. I am strong on my own and don’t ‘need’ to be in a relationship to be happy, but man would it be nice to have someone in my life that ‘got it’ (what it means to own a business and work your ass off) and can take you away from all the stresses of the world. I’ll know he’s worth it when he’s willing to break down the castle Ive built around myself. And until then I’ll do me and work on being the change I want to see in the world.