Tag Archives: coparent

03May/17

When I meet another stepmom

If there is one thing I never saw in my future and one thing I swore I’d never be……its was being a stepmom.  why?  Because you hear so many horror stories about it and having lived it now for a year I can say they’re not just stories.  (let me clarify it’s hard for ALL parties involved- all I can speak to is my experience)

Over that last year and a half I have had the sheer pleasure of being a ‘step’mom to an amazing little girl.  She is loving, kind, compassionate, a people pleaser (sometimes to a fault) and just all around a great distraction from lifes everyday stresses.  That being said…….. 

It doesn’t come without it challenges.  What is the biggest challenge?  Being a mom…. who isn’t a mom….. yes I could easily say that I’m not her mother, stay hands off and leave my husband to deal with her care.  But I’m not a complete asshole and that’s not what you do when you marry a man with a child, you marry his kids and they become yours.

The hard part…. doing all the things a mother does…. wipes tears and asses, feeds, educates, teaches life lessons, acts silly and on and on and on…… only to know that you’ll never actually be her mother.  Giving birth makes it easy to love unconditionally. When you’re a ‘step’ mom you have to choose to love unconditionally and it’s a willing choice that isn’t quite as easy to just do.

Those in my life around me constantly tell me how I’m such a good mom, and my instincts are spot on, and I do my best to smile and accept it and say thank you.  I also know that I am the mother to an angel baby and a mother to be as my husband and I are hell bent on having our own children, but not Lena’s true mother.  I just take on that role 3-4 days every week.

So until then I’ll be the best ‘kate’ she has and between her and I I know what that means and the relationship we have. And thankfully I have the best husband in the world by my side to remind me what a great job I’m doing and how lucky our daughter is to have me as a role model of strength inside and out, compassion, hard work and all the things that come with running two businesses while making time for family.