This of course is not the way I anticipated sharing the news of our most recent pregnancy…….but after a long night of lots of stress and little sleep, we confirmed that we lost our most recent pregnancy just shy of 8 weeks.
Miscarriage at any week is a difficult blow…….. this one hits my husband and I extra hard after having just lost our first child at 21 weeks in early June. We had planned on waiting until after our wedding on August, 21st to try, but managed to be one of the few that got pregnant on birth control.
We accepted it as the universe’s gift to us after taking Hope so early. We were a little terrified everyday, but a little more hopeful everyday we were having a smooth pregnancy.
Wednesday morning I had some slight spotting that increased through out the day into heavy bleeding and the passing of a few clots. Confirmed this morning…… we lost the baby. The pure devastation one feels as a mother is indescribable….. losing not one, but two pregnancies, and back to back.
Tears have been flowing for hours now and the decision to put all things babies on hold seems like the only choice. The emotions involved with the high of the excitement around finding you’ve conceived met with the extreme low of losing a pregnancy take a toll on you mentally and emotionally.
Why share this? Because this is real life. Really shity things happening to really good people. Because miscarriage isn’t something to be ashamed of, or swept under the rug of shame. Because if I can help just one person open up about their loss then it’s worth it. Because I have a support system that will keep me from falling into the dark.