Tag Archives: self esteem

28Dec/16

If only we talked to ourselves the way we talk to our children

In the last year my daughter has really become a little adult moving into her ‘three-nagers’ and having more understanding of the world.  She’s beginning to grasp her own emotions and comprehend her self-esteem.  Over the last two months I have really began to notice how I talk to her and holy shit!!!! I am WAY more positive and supportive of her than i am of myself.  WHY?

  • I’m constantly reminding her that failure is a part of learning and that’s why we have to continue to practice.  I convince her to avoid giving up and continue to work through the frustrations. (what if you mess up, everyone will judge you, maybe i just shouldnt try, its safer….. or I’ll never get this, I quit…. it’s too hard….etc)
  • I’m constantly reminder her of how beautiful and precious she is no matter what she’s wearing or how her hair looks. And make up…..NO way is she wearing makeup because she’s perfectly pretty just the way she is. (i look like a cow in this, my hair is a mess, i shouldn’t even leave the house etc)
  • I’m constantly helping her learn new things, like counting, letter recognition and honestly all basic life skills.  And when she stubbles and answers with the wrong answer I teach her that being corrected and criticized doesn’t mean I love her any less, it just means I’m trying to help her get better. (i’ve read 3 articles i should know it all, I’m too busy to sit and learn all this, I’ll never be smart enough to reach the next level)

And that’s just 3 quick examples of how positively I talk to her….. with the how i would talk to myself following it. I think I’m going to start talking to myself like my 3 year old self.  I was much nicer to her.

21Dec/16

Am I enough

One of the things that I am terrible at is being my own biggest critic.  Doesn’t matter what it is, I am always analyzing if I am good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, strong enough, working enough, loving enough, really insert any word and add enough.

It’s been a rough few months really trying to change that thought pattern and to say it frustrates my husband is an understatement.  He is accepting and loves me exactly as I am and constantly tells me what ever I do is enough.  But it is hard to hear that when I’m always criticizing myself.

It’s what has helped me achieve the highest level of multiple sports and helped me continue to run a successful business 6 years later.

It’s also what has added imense amounts of stress as I’m not sure there are many days that I feel enough.

I am constantly working on it, and there are good days and bad days.  And the practical logical side of me knows that feeling not good enough is a negative emotion, and the opposite of what I strive to teach others.  that being said, practice what you preach, and I am working on doing that everyday.

But it’s important I remain authentic and honest.  I struggle and its real!